Thursday, 29 January 2009
Wednesday, 28 January 2009
Why will I be criticised?
1. Leadership must make choices
2. People have high expectations
3. People are human! Leaders and followers are all prone to mistakes and sin
How do I personally respond to criticism?
2. Depression “ I want to give up”
3. Blame others
4. People pleasing – say the desired words / make erratic changes / grasp at anything
5. Prayerful consideration
6. Obsession – dwell on and think about it.
Why can criticism be helpful?
1. We all have blind spots
2. Helps you keep in touch with people
3. Can be an expression of loyalty – stand with you
4. Makes you live in a place of humility – rather than assume everything is right
5. It is important to give people a place for dealing with their questions/criticism
6. When criticism comes externally you are sharing in the sufferings of Christ
How do I evaluate criticism?
1. What is really being said? OR What are they asking for? Need to give people space to talk about it and deal with it
2. Is the criticism true? (Leaving aside the manner it is said in). Does the crticism represent the reality or is it a personal issue? Beware the line “I have talked to lots of people who feel like this”
3. Does this issue more relate to past issues for that person bringing the criticism. Consider the maturity and track record of the source.
4. If it is true do I want to see change in it? AND/OR is it something I can do about it now OR in the future.
Tuesday, 27 January 2009
The aim should be to bring change to the person, NOT to punish. When conflict situations are handled well, relationships are established on a better foundation and the person involved feels safer.
1. If at all possible, have relationship with the person. If you are in a situation without relationship, create a relational opening. “Hi my name is …
2. Stay calm – Rely on internal not external authority
3. Speak gently – Prov. 15:1 ‘a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.’
4. Know clearly what you are aiming to achieve.
5. Keep hands down.
6. Keep hands open: by doing this you do not create the impression you are hiding something.
7. Get down low. Men especially: don’t look down on other men, it is intimidating.
8. Use the person’s name.
9. Maintain as much eye contact as possible.
10. Stand your ground – you establish that you are not backing down or conceding (physically or in the discussion).
11. Do not walk forward: it may intimidate the person.
12. Where possible, do not be alone: Have someone close by who can support you if you need help.
13. Where possible, speak to the person in a discreet and private place. This avoids embarrassing him/her, perhaps being over-heard.
14. Keep the conversation on the key issue. Comments like “Your team member doesn’t like me” or “Who says that you are right?” are simply distractions.
15. Listen carefully to the person.
16. If people get angry with each other get them away from each other as possible as quickly as possible.
17. Team to be well trained at procedures e.g. when to call the police, who calls and what do they say.
18. Beware the crowd factor. People love to watch a scene - to add fuel to the fire, to even join in. When this happens, the person being confronted has more reason and pressure to play up.
19. Afterwards, do not pretend to be the superhero. Be real. Say if you felt scared. Get prayer.
20. Learn from the experience – review with the team.
Thursday, 22 January 2009
Last night we had between 7 and 10 genuine rough sleepers at the Feast, which is higher than usual. For 3 we were able to directly link them to winter shelters that can help them, one of the issues is that acceptance is often dependent on having a local borough connection. There are winter shelters across London and the closest are Deptford and Bromley. But due to our high numbers of applicants for the JRP we could not offer them interviews for our project. One of our answers is to keep residents moving on and this week one of our residents is viewing a potential property . Residents moving on is important because it keeps the project healthy and I always celebrate positive move-on's.
Finally thanks for your encouraging comments about the blog.
Tuesday, 20 January 2009
Saturday, 17 January 2009
Also on the 2nd February Shelter, the national housing advice agency, will start providing expert advice at King's Church Centre. This will happen on Monday afternoons initially on a fortnightly basis. This will cover issues such as evictions, nuisance neighbours, repairs, legal rights etc. Again this will increase the impact and the quality that we can provide for people in need. I will be advertising the number for booking an appointment shortly. Anyone can access this service.
Another new development is the start of the 'Catford Big Book discussion group' which will be an AA meeting based on the Christian solution. This will be led by Jonny and Heather Gani (from King's). The meeting will be between 4.00pm - 5.15pm on Sundays (just the right time for attending the 5.30 service) at King's Church Centre and the first meeting will be on the 8th February. I am excited about the opportunities this meeting provides for people from outside the church to get real answers.
Finally Louise and Brian have named their child Amalia Louise Gabriel and they are all doing really well.
Tuesday, 13 January 2009
Friday, 9 January 2009
Again on Wednesday another young man described how he now had a flat but had nothing in it. By the next evening someone from King's had taken him a TV and video. He popped in today and we are planning how to get him sorted out. He is looking for a bed, fridge, microwave, a sofa and other basic needs.
When the Samaritan came to the beat up man, he bandaged his wounds, he put the man in his own transport, housed him and paid for further care to be given. (Luke 10:30-37)
In the last few minutes someone has offered to financially help this young man and another person is offering a very nice wardrobe. On this Jericho Road there are many beat up people but there is also great mercy being shown to them.
Finally, today was the first time that the new Lifegroup met, starting at 10.30, it was a very encouraging start offering support, personal sharing time, bible study and prayer. This group now meets every Friday morning. By moving to Friday, the support provided by the JRP is spread throughout the week and it is easier for people who attend the Feast to remember to attend a group on Friday.
Thursday, 8 January 2009
There have been 62 clients in total and 34 of these are currently active. There have been a total of 153 meetings. The majority (49 out of 62) have approached KMA due to Debt issues. 7 have approached KMA due to budgeting issues and 6 due to welfare benefits issues.
One client came through hearing about our service at his secular ESOL class. He has since attended Alpha, regularly attends church and is now enquiring about baptism.
Given the current economic climate this ministry is absolutely vital. Elizabeth and the team have done wonderfully and are definitely a demonstration of the kingdom of God at work.
Wednesday, 7 January 2009
Sunday services - 09.30am to 11.00am, 11.30am to 1.00pm & 5.30pm to 7.00pm- Followed by Coffee Bar (Including free drink at the Coffee bar for project residents)
AA Step group- 4.00pm to 5.15pm led by John & Heather Gani
Small group held fortnightly- Bible study-Please speak to Andy, Richard or Lucy
Freedom in Christ- Evenings starting 13th January- must book in with Martin Alley
Wednesday Welcome (Elderly peoples lunch club) - volunteers must book in with Ruth Misselbrook
The Feast - Volunteers start at 4.00pm – Evening starts at 7.15pm for prayer
Alpha & Alpha plus- 7.15pm to 9.30pm – starts 22nd January - Exploring Christianity- Meal, a short talk & discussion group
Lifegroup- 10.30am to 12.00pm- Recovery & Support- Starting with cake & finishing with soup
Access to Benefit & medical help
See Andy Moffat or call him on 07837 010984
Budgeting & Debt Kings money advice call 07792 386 837 or Email email@example.com
Tuesday, 6 January 2009
The Feast starts again tomorrow night and new for 2009 is that the support group is moving from Tuesday afternoon to Friday morning between 10.30 and 12.00 based at King's.
There is a training session for all volunteers on the evening of the 27th January 2009 which will focus on handling difficult situations and conflict between people in a way that honours God, respects people and diffuses aggression. This training aims to help volunteers feel confident in their roles and able to intervene should difficult situations arise.
This morning I was reading the story of the beaten up man on the Jericho Road. The Samaritan response to the need is an incredible lesson in generosity. Way beyond even a simple act of compassion, the Samaritan man invests his own resources to secure safety for the beaten up man. When Jesus asked "who was the neighbour?", the expert in the law replied "the one who had mercy on him." Jesus told him "Go and do likewise." As we start a new year lets be those who demonstrate great mercy to those on the Jericho Road!