This is a document that was handed out last night at the training on handling conflict.
Why will I be criticised?
1. Leadership must make choices
2. People have high expectations
3. People are human! Leaders and followers are all prone to mistakes and sin
How do I personally respond to criticism?
1. Defensiveness/justification
2. Depression “ I want to give up”
3. Blame others
4. People pleasing – say the desired words / make erratic changes / grasp at anything
5. Prayerful consideration
6. Obsession – dwell on and think about it.
Why can criticism be helpful?
1. We all have blind spots
2. Helps you keep in touch with people
3. Can be an expression of loyalty – stand with you
4. Makes you live in a place of humility – rather than assume everything is right
5. It is important to give people a place for dealing with their questions/criticism
6. When criticism comes externally you are sharing in the sufferings of Christ
How do I evaluate criticism?
1. What is really being said? OR What are they asking for? Need to give people space to talk about it and deal with it
2. Is the criticism true? (Leaving aside the manner it is said in). Does the crticism represent the reality or is it a personal issue? Beware the line “I have talked to lots of people who feel like this”
3. Does this issue more relate to past issues for that person bringing the criticism. Consider the maturity and track record of the source.
4. If it is true do I want to see change in it? AND/OR is it something I can do about it now OR in the future.
Showing posts with label Training. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Training. Show all posts
Wednesday, 28 January 2009
Tuesday, 27 January 2009
Handling conflict
Tonight is the training session on handling conflict and agression. There have been various requests for the notes so I am including the basic notes on the blog. At the training we will be doing some role plays and also discussing how to respond to criticism. Please do make it tonight (7.45 for 8 @ King's) for the complete experience.
Training notes
The aim should be to bring change to the person, NOT to punish. When conflict situations are handled well, relationships are established on a better foundation and the person involved feels safer.
1. If at all possible, have relationship with the person. If you are in a situation without relationship, create a relational opening. “Hi my name is …
2. Stay calm – Rely on internal not external authority
3. Speak gently – Prov. 15:1 ‘a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.’
4. Know clearly what you are aiming to achieve.
5. Keep hands down.
6. Keep hands open: by doing this you do not create the impression you are hiding something.
7. Get down low. Men especially: don’t look down on other men, it is intimidating.
8. Use the person’s name.
9. Maintain as much eye contact as possible.
10. Stand your ground – you establish that you are not backing down or conceding (physically or in the discussion).
11. Do not walk forward: it may intimidate the person.
12. Where possible, do not be alone: Have someone close by who can support you if you need help.
13. Where possible, speak to the person in a discreet and private place. This avoids embarrassing him/her, perhaps being over-heard.
14. Keep the conversation on the key issue. Comments like “Your team member doesn’t like me” or “Who says that you are right?” are simply distractions.
15. Listen carefully to the person.
16. If people get angry with each other get them away from each other as possible as quickly as possible.
17. Team to be well trained at procedures e.g. when to call the police, who calls and what do they say.
18. Beware the crowd factor. People love to watch a scene - to add fuel to the fire, to even join in. When this happens, the person being confronted has more reason and pressure to play up.
19. Afterwards, do not pretend to be the superhero. Be real. Say if you felt scared. Get prayer.
20. Learn from the experience – review with the team.
Training notes
The aim should be to bring change to the person, NOT to punish. When conflict situations are handled well, relationships are established on a better foundation and the person involved feels safer.
1. If at all possible, have relationship with the person. If you are in a situation without relationship, create a relational opening. “Hi my name is …
2. Stay calm – Rely on internal not external authority
3. Speak gently – Prov. 15:1 ‘a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.’
4. Know clearly what you are aiming to achieve.
5. Keep hands down.
6. Keep hands open: by doing this you do not create the impression you are hiding something.
7. Get down low. Men especially: don’t look down on other men, it is intimidating.
8. Use the person’s name.
9. Maintain as much eye contact as possible.
10. Stand your ground – you establish that you are not backing down or conceding (physically or in the discussion).
11. Do not walk forward: it may intimidate the person.
12. Where possible, do not be alone: Have someone close by who can support you if you need help.
13. Where possible, speak to the person in a discreet and private place. This avoids embarrassing him/her, perhaps being over-heard.
14. Keep the conversation on the key issue. Comments like “Your team member doesn’t like me” or “Who says that you are right?” are simply distractions.
15. Listen carefully to the person.
16. If people get angry with each other get them away from each other as possible as quickly as possible.
17. Team to be well trained at procedures e.g. when to call the police, who calls and what do they say.
18. Beware the crowd factor. People love to watch a scene - to add fuel to the fire, to even join in. When this happens, the person being confronted has more reason and pressure to play up.
19. Afterwards, do not pretend to be the superhero. Be real. Say if you felt scared. Get prayer.
20. Learn from the experience – review with the team.
Tuesday, 25 November 2008
Training from Lewisham Drug & Alcohol Team
The following training is provided by Lewisham Drug strategy Team. It is free to anyone who is providing services in the borough. I have the prospectus in the office and the dates are all in 2009. Please ask if you would like more details.
Examples of the days are as follows
Drug Awareness basic 1 day
Drug Awareness intermediate 2 day
Alcohol Awareness basic 1 day
Alcohol Awareeness intermediate 2 day
Without all the details some of the other training day/s are
Young people and drugs / mental health / pregnancy /harm reduction /referrals into treatment / "up in smoke" Cannabis in the 21st Century / crystal meths
Please do ask for more details - this is very useful training . It is designed for staff and volunteers who may work with people who use drugs or are at risk of drug related problems.
Examples of the days are as follows
Drug Awareness basic 1 day
Drug Awareness intermediate 2 day
Alcohol Awareness basic 1 day
Alcohol Awareeness intermediate 2 day
Without all the details some of the other training day/s are
Young people and drugs / mental health / pregnancy /harm reduction /referrals into treatment / "up in smoke" Cannabis in the 21st Century / crystal meths
Please do ask for more details - this is very useful training . It is designed for staff and volunteers who may work with people who use drugs or are at risk of drug related problems.
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