Tuesday 27 January 2009

Handling conflict

Tonight is the training session on handling conflict and agression. There have been various requests for the notes so I am including the basic notes on the blog. At the training we will be doing some role plays and also discussing how to respond to criticism. Please do make it tonight (7.45 for 8 @ King's) for the complete experience.

Training notes
The aim should be to bring change to the person, NOT to punish. When conflict situations are handled well, relationships are established on a better foundation and the person involved feels safer.

1. If at all possible, have relationship with the person. If you are in a situation without relationship, create a relational opening. “Hi my name is …

2. Stay calm – Rely on internal not external authority

3. Speak gently – Prov. 15:1 ‘a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.’

4. Know clearly what you are aiming to achieve.

5. Keep hands down.

6. Keep hands open: by doing this you do not create the impression you are hiding something.

7. Get down low. Men especially: don’t look down on other men, it is intimidating.

8. Use the person’s name.

9. Maintain as much eye contact as possible.

10. Stand your ground – you establish that you are not backing down or conceding (physically or in the discussion).

11. Do not walk forward: it may intimidate the person.

12. Where possible, do not be alone: Have someone close by who can support you if you need help.

13. Where possible, speak to the person in a discreet and private place. This avoids embarrassing him/her, perhaps being over-heard.

14. Keep the conversation on the key issue. Comments like “Your team member doesn’t like me” or “Who says that you are right?” are simply distractions.

15. Listen carefully to the person.

16. If people get angry with each other get them away from each other as possible as quickly as possible.

17. Team to be well trained at procedures e.g. when to call the police, who calls and what do they say.

18. Beware the crowd factor. People love to watch a scene - to add fuel to the fire, to even join in. When this happens, the person being confronted has more reason and pressure to play up.

19. Afterwards, do not pretend to be the superhero. Be real. Say if you felt scared. Get prayer.

20. Learn from the experience – review with the team.

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