Even more FASTER

There were a number of questions following my blog last week about the FASTER scale so best to read that blog first.

Qu. What to do with anxiety?
The key to Anxiety in the FASTER scale model is based on knowing what your 'building blocks' are (the things in your week that you need to remember - F).  So when an individual becomes aware of anxiety building up (needs self awareness obviously) their building block may be a person who knows them well and is able to provide good advice or perhaps it is section of scripture that brings the person back to a place of faith or another example may be exercise, getting out for a run might be what is needed to get perspective on a situation.  There are numerous other examples of what builds stability in life.

Qu What are 'building blocks'?
This is a 'Simon Allen' phrase.  I often draw a wall with large bricks and ask someone to fill in the bricks with words describing what gives strength to their life.  Here is examples of what are not 'building blocks' that I've heard someone give recently - "seeing my children once a fortnight" because in this case it exposed huge insecurity.  "church on Sunday" because it left the person unsure about relational connection.  Now they both could be blocks to build with but in this case they are not.  Building blocks bring stability and strength to a person's life.  What are your building blocks?  Mine are relationship with God (reading the bible is key), my marriage, work, exercise, family and friends.

Qu. Lapse / relapse defined
I find the term lapse very helpful when I am talking with people who are struggling.  It takes the heat out of someone messing up.  It gives terminology when someone has done the R that they didn't want to but gives them space to get back to their priorities before the lapse becomes a relapse.  Relapse is then defined when someone has given in and given up the fight to stop a particular behaviour.  Do remember that this doesn't need to be a daily activity, if there is a weekly 'lapse' pattern, the person may well have moved into relapse. 

Qu. At what point do you motivate the person?
"I reached my lowest point and then I did something about it".  This is a common phrase in recovery stories but I would not tell someone they are at their lowest and they must do something about it.  I tell people the truth so I can find myself telling people who insist they need rehab they are simply not ready to go to rehab and when they have made progress in defined areas come back. 
What I aim to do is provide people with the information that will help them make an informed decision.  I tell people factual health information - A man who has abused his body with alcohol is likely to experience liver failure in their mid 40's because that is the age the liver stops reproducing itself.  I make sure I build people up and that a relationship with Jesus is the best way to find healing.  I want people to know they are accepted and valued for who they are.  I want people to know there is always hope and I don't stop telling them this.  Even when I've seen men crying and shaking with wretched shame after blowing their entire months wages before they've paid rent or bought shopping, there is still hope!